dangerouspoetry:

american horror story: the police

lellyphant:

"your made-up pronouns aren’t real words"

ah yes, as an english major i can confirm that no one has ever made up words to compensate for gaps in the language

all words occur naturally in caves located deep in the Amazon rainforest, where they are carefully handpicked by linguists and preserved in dictionaries

garbageurl:

some days you do big things and conquer the universe and other days you’re really proud of yourself for making a spectacular grilled cheese and not killing yourself but either way it’s all good 

humansofnewyork:

"Hold on a sec. I’m having a bad hijab day."

humansofnewyork:

"Hold on a sec. I’m having a bad hijab day."

startrekspeare:

"what’s a queen without her king?" well, historically, better

"You mean the generation that paid three times as much for college to enter a job market with triple the unemployment isn’t interested in purchasing the assets of the generation who just blew an enormous housing bubble and kept it from popping through quantitative easing and out-and-out federal support? Curious."

angryplum:

Okay, so I was putting my brother to bed, and he asked, ‘Hey, when I grow up, am I gonna have boobs like you and Mom?’

I kinda couldn’t stop laughing, so I told him to ask Mom.

Just now my brother came to my door with a box of tampons and said that Mom told him to ask me what they’re for.

The war has begun, and he may not survive the battle.

rumblespheres:

officialunitedstates:

what’s with these people telling me I’m “full of myself”?? of course I’m full of myself what else is my body supposed to be full of

bees

[x]

thepasta-nerada:

deliverusfromsburb:

karemloo:

fuckyeahlukemyernaked:

never forget that for voldemort’s name to rearrange to “je suis voldemort” in the french translations, they had to make his middle name ‘Elvis’

image

I CANT HANDLE THIS

are you telling me the french word for wand is ‘la baguette magique’

yes

kanyewesticle:

what if rain came down all at once and not in tiny raindrops

unclefather:

bobbyhoying:

vua:

silumia:

A tattoo with an anchor saying ‘I refuse to sink’

a judgemental person that should respect other peoples choices!!!!!!!!!

A rabbit with bionic legs that has an incredible tolerance for alcohol

A big dad that scares other dads into eating bugs for fun

runyoucleverboyandremember:

"if you’re so stressed out from school why don’t you just study more or take fewer classes??"

image

basedpidgeot:

given my follower count and the number of days in a year its way more than reasonable to assume that it’s one of your birthdays today

happy birthday whoever you are